Confession: Relationships drain me…..absolutely drain me! I’m an introvert to the Nth degree. When I tell people this, they are typically surprised. I don’t typically have trouble making conversation…..outwardly. But inside, I’m struggling. After spending time with people, I need to recharge. And to do that, I need solitude. Anyone relate? Any hands raised? 😉
All my life I’ve been overly concerned about pleasing people. It has manifested itself in several ways but mostly in my performance. I used to think it was just a satisfaction in doing things well – to the best of my ability (which in my mind means perfectly…ugh!…but that’s another blog post). But I’m coming to realize that that is not actually what is driving me. What is driving me is pleasing people. And it’s tiring….draining…..exhausting. I’m plumb worn out.
Do you know what this is? It’s an idol! Plain and simple! Over the years of my life, I’ve come to feel that it’s more important to not cause waves with the people around me instead of just offering what little I have to God, no matter what people think. And what a freeing thought this is! I don’t have to make people happy; and as a matter of fact, I simply won’t make them happy all the time. It’s not my job. There is much more going on behind the scenes in the scope of their own lives that are not my issues to take on or take responsibility for.
But when the rubber meets the road, this is a hard habit to snap.
Lately I’ve been feeling very defeated on many fronts. Spiritually, physically, with my health, with my relationships, etc., etc., etc. Satan is definitely heaving lies in my directions and I’ve been believing them!
However, this morning, a new friend sent me a text that lifted my spirits. She reminded me (without even intending to) that relationships can be fulfilling and loving and that I don’t need to be so worried about impressing. We are ALL fighting battles. And we can love each other. We can have relationship by helping each other fight battles while not taking on other’s battles or state of happiness as our own. We can pray for each other. We can encourage each other. THAT is relationship! Leave the rest to God! Thank you Jesus!